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Holy SWEET! It's days like this I want to give my job a big fat wet kiss. Yes, we're only getting out an hour earlier, yes we shouldn't have had to come in at all, but the fact that they are bestowing upon me a SNOW DAY, in any way, shape, or form, in any sense of the word, makes me gleefulier than if I had just sledded down a big hill, ran inside into the warmth and drank some hot chocolate with marshmallows by a fire and then some Goldschlager. The Gleefuliest EVER..kins. OMG. I'm like a small child or something. With Goldschlager.
Current Mood: HAPPY LITTLE KID
I've really needed to update lately but I'm always wary of writing about the state of things because it changes so frequently and I end up looking like an idiot.
Basically it's just really frustrating seeing and knowing what's best for someone, what's real and meaningful and lasting, and not being able to do anything about it.
I honestly believe that the best and only way for someone to make a decision is to be completely uninhibited and uninfluenced by anyone else. It just seem likes it's taking forever, and leading nowhere and bettering no one in the meantime.
Who hates seeing their friends settle for so much less than they deserve, and being so blinded by it that it is absurd to even mention it to them. I would think it was my own jealousy if the same observations hadn't been made by multiple other people.
Perhaps Steph is right and he's merely loves the fact that he sees himself reflected in her. Especially in the vain state he's been in.
So frustrating. The most wonderful, complex, confident, independent person I know is completely fixated on someone who is trying to be like him and offering him nothing in return. And he's just eating it up. Who wants a carbon copy of themself? It can't last...he's too good to settle for that. Like a small yellow bird to his Hippopotamus.
SO FRICKIN FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!
Now if you excuse me I have to check his away messages so I can copy and paste them as my own...cause I'm SOOO COOOOOOL like that. ;)
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: blahbetyblahblah
I'm at school. I'm starving. I have to pee. And I'm at school. These things make me not happy. Let's think of some things:
AngloSaxon- for some reason this word just popped into my head. Why? It's kind of fun to say and makes you seem cultured until someone asks you what it's referring to in which case you say, "Je parle ne pas de no speaka english."
PARTAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Steph and I are throwing the best partyeverkins this weekend. The vibe is going to be so glorious, like how Blue looks. It's going to be so dark with the flicker of candles and sparkly strange ornaments on a dead tree, and delicious "why aren't you a chef at the Maisonette?!" recipes. It's The Nightmare Before Christmas themed. So much to plan!
wicked and no pants wicked and no pants wicked and no pants wicked and no pants wicked and no pants wicked
I can't wait to be able to afford clothes. And some boots. And I'M GETTING MY BURBERRY BRIT RED PERFUME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!! I watched my mommy order it. OMG. OMG. That's all.
I could really go for a burger with bacon and barbecue sauce. OMG maybe I should pick up a Western Burger from Wild Mike's...DIEHLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!
That was me calling Diehl from my keyboard.
So I'm getting my promotion sooner than ever! We actually interviewed (really sucky) people the other day! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO for a raise. Teehee. It just means I'll have more money to blow!
Alright, this is really boring, I'm sorry, but I honestly don't know why I'm still here...SANS BURGER.
Take the quiz: "Which American City Are You?"
Liberal and proud, you'll live your lifestyle however you choose in the face of all that would supress you.
Okay, this is the funniest thing I have ever seen. These online quizzes are FREAKISHLY ACCURATE!!!!!
Current Mood: Liberal And Proud Bitches!!!
Kind Of Contradicts The Last One, Huh?|
Reserved, quiet, wise and free spirited
You are a sprite of the Earth: You have a deep
connection with the earth and all its
creatures, preferring plants and animals to
people you are quiet and reserved. You
understand things on a different level and can
often see straight through to a persons true
intentions. You are mysterious to everyone even
those in your family, they may live with you
but that doesn't mean they 'know' the real you.
Being inside the house for long periods of time
can be torture, you crave the outdoors and love
simply escaping up a tree or into the forest
where you can be free. Although you may be
smart you are easy to judge a person because
you fear what they 'may' be going to do. You
are wise in things that most overlook and you
are very creative in many aspects like art,
music, etc... Although try as they may to seek
you, you are a free spirit. Just let them try
to catch and put you in a cage. .::=What type of mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers- brought to you by Quizilla
Current Mood: Mystical
OMG I Knew It Was True But I Was Denying It|
Regina George Which Mean Girl are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Current Mood: sad
Warm And Snuggly|
You can work so so hard to eliminate him from your mind. You can go out with different people every night, keep yourself busy during the day. And it can work. You can fool yourself into being over someone. This phase for me worked to my benefit because it helped me see the good in life, the good in myself. I am happy. I know I say it a lot, it probably sounds forced, but if you know me you'd know it's true. I have so many things going on, so much to keep me occupied. My mind doesn't work against me any more, playing out worst-case scenarios about Dom. I'm truly free and refreshed. I don't need him, I don't need anyone.
And then he comes home from Utah. And I go in to ask how his trip was and somehow end up in his bed. Me, hardened, calloused (in a good way), me who lived without him for 5 days and who didn't speak to him for a week and a half before that: I'm worthless. The past five months of my funnest other-guy-moments combined are like a root canal compared to merely laying next to him. And this is why I can't seem to let go. I've gone through all the phases of someone who's been broken up with. I'm ready to move on. I at least feel like I'm ready to move on. And then I'm reduced to nothingness by his mere presence.
I don't care if he's being a brat, I don't care if we're not speaking, whenever I'm near him I feel better, enriched. I know he does too. I can tell.
It doesn't hurt me that we're not together. Instead, I just wish he would fill in that missing piece in my life. Love means SO MUCH. Nothing else is important. And he'll hold me and then tell me he has to turn around because apparently he's loving me too much. At the end of the day it's about love. The most simple/complex emotion there is. So many of us just give ourselves over to it and then there are those who are trying to defy it. Why? What else is there? Success? Fuck success. Money? Fuck money. When you FEEL it, when you feel it like I did last night, you need NOTHING else. Some people can have all their shit together and yet be so blind to something that's trying to talk to them from the inside. It's frustrating to say the least.
I really, really, really want to know what's so wrong about it. How can you completely give yourself over to me and then at the drop of a hat decide it's wrong? How does that work? How unfulfilled are you right now?
Current Mood: Sniggity, that's all i can say
Current Music: The Format
Bleh, whatsup? Haven't had a chance to update in a while. Know why? Well, consider the fact that every long, drawn out post you've ever seen has been composed at school. Now consider the fact that I have midterms this week. For those of you who are bad at equations, this means that I don't pay attention in school and now have to cram 6 weeks of not paying attention in three classes, into 3 nights. Yeah, can't really even feel sorry for meself. Dug my own grave.
Stuff is weird. When isn't it? Though not in a bad way. Didn't speak to Dom for a week and a half which actually made things REALLY spectacularly easy for me yet left me a little empty inside. Then we had a talk the other night before he left for Utah. I really don't know what is up with that. But I miss him. The entire time we've been broken up there is just one thing that constantly circulates in my mind: Us together=happy, us broken up=miserable. Not just me, HE'S miserable. I know it and so does everyone else. I understand that people need to go through phases in their life and find themselves and all that, but what is the point when you're getting nowhere and just keep going deeper and deeper into sadness and misery? The mere fact that it bothers him so much when I go out with other guys and when I don't talk to him says it all. Babe, you're not happy. You can be, I'm right here. Bleh, I hope he figures it out. And again, I've come to this point in my life where I don't even need him to define myself, I don't need him for my happiness because I'm actually REALLY happy with my life right now. I just want to be slightly more fulfilled, have more to look forward to at the end of the day. I just want to know I'm making someone else happy (someone who I actually care about making happy). We'll see. It's hard because I don't think he understands.
Didn't really want to get into that but I just did. Today was awesome. No work, slept in, Steph and I went to Sitwells, then Em and I went to the Y and SWAM and went in the sauna. It was so warm and delicious. There's something wonderful about feeling like you're being baked in a woodburning oven. The best part was walking back to the locker room and looking outside to see the bleak, rainy, dreariness. We cracked up, like we felt bad for the trees that were outside getting cold and rained on when we were so toasty. Then we got a shower together (bathing suits on MIND YOU) like when we were little (hey, when there's 7 people and one shower, you have to maximize water-warmth) and it was so fun. When we were little kids we would make our bellies all soapy and rub them together cause it was all slippery-like. So of course we had to do that, except it was weird because we don't have our little kid bellies anymore, and we have hips now that knock together. That sounds really bad. And it actually sounded really bad at the time too, so we had to stop. It's so funny, we always joke about making shirts that say "We're Not Gay, We're Sisters." Those would've been apt today.
Time to kick my ass into gear and get studying. I hate this shit. I want to study for something I like. And I just checked my email from work since I didn't go today and realized I didn't make someone an access badge that I was supposed to Monday and I feel like shit about it. Why does work get to me so much? I'm going to be stressing about it all night. I hate seeming like a bad worker. I'll just go in a half hour early tomorrow. I always feel like doing something like that will prove my dedication to my boss or something. Dammit Jess! Why do I care so much???
And I love that Dom and Annette are gone. I love having the apartment to myself! I don't know why, it's not like I'm inhibited by them when they're here, I just like Jessica time. I think I'm one of those people who, if I was the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, I would be alright. That's weird of me.
Current Mood: mellow
Here it is, my gift to you. This is the best quiz you will ever find. If you don't have a deeper appreciation for your friends after reading their responses then I will be a monkey's uncle. Now, you must be warned that this is a thinking-man's quiz, most suitable to be taken when you're extremely bored, extremely introspective, extremely emo, or extremely drunk. Enjoy and PASS IT AROUND! Trust me, this is more interesting than how many tattoos they have or what the last thing they ate was.
What’s your biggest contradiction? The fact that I love punk music, moshing and beating the shit out of people, eating everything that there is to eat, having bonfires and being outside, doing manchores, drinking BEER, dark beer, never making guys pay for me, yet I am the most narcissistic person you will ever meet. Extremely inflated self image.
If you had to have your honeymoon somewhere where there was no ocean, where would you go? Venice, Italy, as long as it's that place that has the boats instead of cars...no, wait. No beach? Fuck it, I'm not getting married then.
What’s your most supernatural experience? Hearing a tape my brothers, sisters and dad recorded at a cememtary a few days before Halloween...you can seriously hear a very faint voice of...a ghost!
If you had a pet goat that only had one eye, what would you name it? Uncle Samsonite.
If you had to be completely honest for one whole day, how many people would you piss off? Let's just say I would NOT piss off like 3 people, because I have no bad thoughts about 3 people. Or less.
You have 4 days off of work, $5000, and a BMW. Where do you go and what do you do? I would go to New Orleans with my friends. Bars, bars, bars, music, bright colors (don't know why, but that appeals to me) and rustic french architecture. Delicious cafe's in the morning, hearty bowls of jumbalaya for dinner, right before you hit the town. And awesomely cool scary graveyards to go in when drunk after the bar and try to talk to ghosts. AND stay in the friggin sweetest hotels there are. Huge beds. And we all have to share a bed one night, it seems extra road-trippish.
If you could have a free monkey, but you had to wear a mullet wig 24/7 for 16 days, would you take the monkey? Why or why not? I would be tempted to take the monkey. And if it was a monkey that didn't defecate and had short hair and didn't have a gross pink ass, and would do my bidding and not be creepy and not die, then I would do it. I would make it a reality show too.
If you had to taxidermize one animal and display it in your house, what would it be? A human being. I would dress it up to match the different holidays. I would scare people with it. And if robbers were outside my house like on Home Alone I would pretend I was talking with it or dancing with so as not to seem "home alone." Other days when there weren't robbers I would talk to it and dance with it too. I would call him Gregory, unless it was Christmas-tide and then I would call him Charles.
If you could have $2,000,000 and not share a penny of it with anyone else in the world, or $1,000,000 and do whatever you wanted with it, which would you pick? $2,000,000 and I would buy a 18-wheeler and paint, "I'm Rich And You Suck" on the side and drive it around my town honking and waving and throwing fake money out the windows. Then after a crowd gathered I would pretend I was doing a magic trick, whip out a couple grand, and light it on fire. THEN I would buy a million puppies and when they got old and not cute I would shoot them in the fucking face and get some more. Then I would wear a ballgown to walk down the street, making fun of everyone who was not rich like me, then I would go back to my mansion, walk into the room with all the puppies (the alive ones) and lay in the middle of them as they lick me and cry because I'm lonely and miserable. Then the phone would ring and I would pick it up while choking back sobs and when the person said something I would cut them off and yell, "I'm Rick James, beeatch," hang the phone up on them and laugh and then go eat some pie.
Which movie/song/band do you hate to love the most? Crossroads/Everybody-Backstreet Boys/Westlife
What’s your funniest memory from grade school? When Annette and I, the most "responsible" pet loving students, got picked to be in charge of the gerbils during every recess. We would clean the cage, play with them, refill their water, and eat their food. Every day. We would put it in the tiny little pocket on our tiny little school blouse and bring it home so we could eat it there. The best part of this story is that, as a result of our addiction, Annette and I became founders of GFEA, Gerbil Food Eaters Anonymous, which, as of this day, has helped over 24 people in the world who have been afflicted with this disease. The chemical in your brain that tells you not to eat gerbil food, well, Annette and I had a deficiency in it.
What do you think is most people’s main assumption about you the first time they see you? That I'm a bitch. It's true, but I'm a fun bitch! UNLESS YOU FUCK WITH ME. *teehee*
Beautiful, funny, intelligent, hardworking, selfless, passionate. If you had to eliminate one in your significant other, which one? Beautiful. Cmon. Unless it was their job to be not-hardworking. Like if their job was to be Jabba the Hut in a play that is on every night forever, then they could be not hardworking.
What’s your biggest vice? Smoking and drinking. Both are a phase. A phase I like a lot.
What are the most ballsy lyrics you've ever heard? Is that what you call a getaway? Tell me what you got away with, cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish, I've seen more guts in eleven year old kids. Have another drink and drive yourself home. I hope there's ice on all the roads and you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt, again when you're head goes through the windshield. Seventy Times Seven - Brand New
Current Mood: chipper
Yay For Fun...Yay For ME!!!|
Okay, yeah, so last night was one of the funnest nights in a long, long time. Full of new things and old things but the combination was *muwah* (Italian chef doing that "it really tastes good" kissing their fingers thing). Alright, now that I've totally lost everyone...
Yeah, so the kid I met the other night, Brian (MAIER---go German!!!) is so fucking cool and, get this, my type! Who's my type? No one. What is my type you ask? Punkily conservative. He's the singer in a hardcore band, has hugely gagued ears, a nose ring (bull style) and band-hair, yet is conservative. What the fuck?! Annnnnnd, he's moral-ish. Not to go all he's-so-great psycho, I barely know him BUT it's nice to know that there are actually guys who I would accept out there. Accept. Yeah, nice use of wor..D.
Yeah, so we saw this band called Action Action at a bar in Northside. They fucking rocked the house hard. I need to go buy their CD. And they're from NYC, so they must be cool. Yeah, cause I'm a poser like that. New Yawk.
Yeah, well, I'm annoying myself. Gonna go do some work.
OH! And be prepared for the best quiz EVER!!! I am inventing a quiz that will actually learn you new things about your friends. Trust me, you'll love it. Probably see it tonight and make sure to pass it around, it's HIlarious.
Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: Reliant K
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